Coup in Russia

Thank you for completing this SurveyMonkey survey about the proposed coup in Russia:

  1. Have you heard about the coup?
    [ ] Yes
    [ ] No
    [ ] Don't Know

  2. If there were to be a coup, would you join in?
    [ ] Yes
    [ ] No
    [ ] Haven't decided yet

  3. Who do you think would make the best coup leader?
    [ ] Valery Gerasimov
    [ ] Sergei Shoigu
    [ ] Aleksandr Bortnikov
    [ ] Other ________________
    [ ] Don't know

  4. What are some of the things you would hope that a coup might bring about?
    [ ] Removal of Vladimir Putin from power
    [ ] End of the 'special military operation' in Ukraine
    [ ] Increase in your own prestige, power and wealth
    [ ] Installation of a Western-style democracy in Russia
    [ ] Installation of a military dictatorship run by the military
    [ ] Civil war
    [ ] Global thermonuclear war with the West
    [ ] Other ____________

  5. In your opinion, is a coup:
    [ ] Very necessary
    [ ] Possibly appropriate
    [ ] Not needed at all
    [ ] A bad idea
    [ ] No opinion

  6. What are some of the things that you think are needed for a successful coup?
    [ ] Support of the army
    [ ] Support of the FSB
    [ ] Support of the people
    [ ] Defenestration of Vladimir Putin
    [ ] Seizure of radio, television and Internet services
    [ ] Commemorative merchandise (i.e. hats, T-shirts, lapel pins)
    [ ] Social media marketing (TikTok, FaceBook, Twitter etc.)
    [ ] Other ________________

  7. If you were to take part in a coup, who would you like to see as your co-conspirators?
    (name up to five; include addresses and telephone numbers if possible)
    _____________________________________________________________________

  8. If your coup was unsuccessful, how would you expect to be punished?
    [ ] Summary execution during arrest
    [ ] Exile to Siberia
    [ ] Firing squad
    [ ] Clandestine murder using Novichok, polonium or other toxic substances.
    [ ] Stern reprimand delivered in person by Vladimir Putin
    [ ] Loss of Playstation privileges for at least a month
    [ ] Other _____________

  9. Which of these proposed code names would make you more eager to join a coup?
    [ ] Operation Pootie Bye-Bye
    [ ] Let's Kick Bad Vlad in the Nads, Lads
    [ ] Putin on the Ritz
    [ ] Russia Reboot 2.0
    [ ] Red Square Redemption
    [ ] For the Motherland!
    [ ] Tsar Wars IV: A New Hope
    [ ] Other ____________________

  10. If you were to be arrested and imprisoned following a failed coup, do you have any special dietary requirements?
    [ ] Vegetarian
    [ ] Vegan
    [ ] Kosher
    [ ] Anything that doesn't have rat droppings in it.
    [ ] Other ___________________

  11. Finally, are there any suggestions or comments you would like to add?
    _____________________________________________

Please do not forget to include your name, home and work addresses, and the names and addresses of at least five close relatives or friends. Please also indicate a time and place that would be convenient for Interior Ministry police to arrest you and your associates.