Driver says God ordered 100mph wreck
GOD Hey Peter!
ST PETER Yes, Lord?
GOD I'm bored. Wanna see something cool?
ST PETER What do you have in mind, Lord?
GOD Two-car collision. See that pick-up?
ST PETER Uh-oh ... Gabriel! Get up here! God's screwing with the traffic again. Get ready to intervene - Highway 281, San Antonio.
ANGEL GABRIEL I'm on it. Vector me in.
GOD Here goes now ... see, he's starting to pick up speed ... 70 ... 80 ... 90 ... 100!
ST PETER Gabriel, you are cleared hot. Time to impact ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1...
ANGEL GABRIEL Rolling in ....
GOD ... and ... whammo!
JESUS What's going on? I can't see anything!
ST PETER Gabriel, come in ... did you get them?
ANGEL GABRIEL That's an affirmative, Peter. Some vehicle damage, but only minor injuries. Emergency services are on the scene.
ST PETER Good work, Gabe.
GOD ... Did you see that? Did you? Bitch never knew what hit her!
ST PETER Thanks Gabriel, you can stand down now.
GOD Hey, Peter ... take a look at that train down there ... doesn't that bridge look kind of fragile to you?
ST PETER Negative on that stand-down, Gabriel. Patching you coordinates for Kerala, India ...