Papers give peek inside al Qaeda in Iraq
Wait … wait … what are you doing?!
We're setting up an ambush, sheikh.
An ambush? Have you filled out an 'Intent to Engage the Infidels' form?
I need to fill out a form to attack the Americans? Are you insane?
You need - wait a minute, what on earth is that?
That's our booby trap, sayyid … sixty old artillery shells in the back of a truck, command-detonated from a distance.
And who authorized the expense?
Authorized the expense? There was no expense. The shells were just lying around. And we stole the truck from a local farmer.
With a full tank of gas?
Well … no.
Ah hah - so you refueled it, didn't you? Let me see your fuel chits.
Sheikh, please … we don't have time for this. The Americans are coming.
Oh, this is very bad. I can't find any escape plan filed, and my calendar shows that the Righteous Swords of Vengeance group have booked the nearest safe-house for an inter-unit table tennis competition through to the twenty-sixth. I will need to report this to the planning committee.
… that man - his uniform does not conform to regulations. Black hoods may only be worn for beheadings. The rules are quite clear on this.
Sheikh … the helicopter! American helicopter!
What kind of helicopter? You can't just shout 'helicopter' - the Aircraft Monitoring Team requires a full report of any sighting, including make, model number, direction of flight, time observed. Let me give you an example: Hellfire missile, AGM-114, direction of flight, towards observer, 10:33AM … time to impact estimated at … seventeen seconds … now, where did he go? It is contrary to regulations to leave a briefing conducted by a senior officer without permission. No wonder we're losing this –