“Black Hat” is the new “Jarhead”

Private Joker, why did you join my beloved corps?

Sir, to hack, sir!

So, you're a hacker!

Sir, yes, sir!

Private, I will give you exactly three seconds to wipe that grin off your face, otherwise I'll generate a buffer overflow and take control of your box using a known zero-day exploit in your TCP stack. Do you want that, private?

Sir, no, sir!

Then what are you going to do to stop me? Don't know, do you? You pathetic pieces of puke make me sick. Charlie Cong will be up in your shit running denial-of-service attacks against your LAN before you know what's hit you! What programming languages do you know, Private Joker?


Programming languages, Private Joker! You do know how to program, don't you?

Sir, yes, sir. I can program in Ruby, sir. Also PHP. And some Javascript, sir!

Javascript, eh? I suppose you know all about Ajax, private?

Sir, yes, sir.

Get down on your knees, you worm! Ajax! You make me sick, you little Web 2.0 freak. Ruby, PHP, Javascript — they use that trash for developing 'social networking' sites. Well, we're not here to 'social' network, private. In the corps, when we network, it's very anti-social indeed. And we use the only languages that are fit for use by real men – C and assembler. At the end of my training course … if you survive, and if you don't crack up or wander off with a compiler and put a stack frame through your brain, then you will be able to program on the bare metal. You'll be able to hack the kernel with nothing but a disk sector editor and have it running cleaner and faster than before. Now, drop and give me a race condition!