Driver says God ordered 100mph wreck

The driver of a pickup that struck a woman's car on the South Side Friday morning is being evaluated by psychiatrists because he thinks God told him to drive in excess of 100 mph to take the other car off the road, police said.

MySanAntonio

GOD
Hey Peter!
ST PETER
Yes, Lord?
GOD
I'm bored. Wanna see something cool?
ST PETER
What do you have in mind, Lord?
GOD
Two-car collision. See that pick-up?
ST PETER
Uh-oh ... Gabriel! Get up here! God's screwing with the traffic again. Get ready to intervene - Highway 281, San Antonio.
ANGEL GABRIEL
I'm on it. Vector me in.
GOD
Here goes now ... see, he's starting to pick up speed ... 70 ... 80 ... 90 ... 100!
ST PETER
Gabriel, you are cleared hot. Time to impact ... 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1...
ANGEL GABRIEL
Rolling in ....
GOD
... and ... whammo!
JESUS
What's going on? I can't see anything!
ST PETER
Gabriel, come in ... did you get them?
ANGEL GABRIEL
That's an affirmative, Peter. Some vehicle damage, but only minor injuries. Emergency services are on the scene.
ST PETER
Good work, Gabe.
GOD
... Did you see that? Did you? Bitch never knew what hit her!
ST PETER
Thanks Gabriel, you can stand down now.
GOD
Hey, Peter ... take a look at that train down there ... doesn't that bridge look kind of fragile to you?
ST PETER
Negative on that stand-down, Gabriel. Patching you coordinates for Kerala, India ...
- okapi :: Local News :: 05 December 2008