Shoes of the Wrathful

During a surprise visit to Iraq, President Bush narrowly escaped a pair of shoes hurled at him by an Iraqi journalist.

BBC News

Skipjack, this is Valiant, do you read? Over.

Valiant, go ahead. Over.

Skipjack, we have a situation. Tumbler has been shoed. Please advise. Over.

Valiant, will expedite medevac asap. State location. Over.

Negative medevac, Skipjack. Tumbler is unharmed. Over.

But you said he'd been shot. Advise, over.

Negative, negative. Tumbler has been shoed. Not shot. Over.

Did not copy your last, Valiant. Did you say shoot? Who did Tumbler shoot? Over.

Shoed. Shoed. SHOED. Over.

All agents, this is Skipjack. Tumbler security is apparently engaged in a firefight. Standby immediate evac plan C on my signal. Acknowledge. Over.

Skipjack, cancel that plan C. Tumbler is unhurt. There is no firefight. Over.

Valiant, please advise. I hear you say 'shoot'. What is your situation? Over.

Skipjack, I repeat, Tumbler has been shoed. No injuries. Situation contained. Over.

Valiant, I copy no injuries, but do not understand. Did you say 'shoed', over?

Affirmative, Skipjack. Over.

(silence)

Skipjack?

Valiant, this is Skipjack. I hear your last and repeat. Tumbler has been shoed. Confirm. Over.

Affirmative, Skipjack. Advise next action. Over.

Valiant, proceed to secure all weapons in vicinity of Tumbler and friendly high-values. Over.

(silence)

(silence)

Skipjack, this is Valiant. Did you say secure all weapons? Over.

Affirmative. Over.

You want me to ... take their shoes? Over.

That's an affirmative, Valiant. Secure all potential weapons. Over.

(silence)

(silence)

Skipjack, this is Valiant. Am now in possession of fifty-seven pair male shoes, sizes 8 to 13, sixteen pair female shoes. Crowd appears angry. May need backup and Odor Eaters. Do you copy? Over.

- okapi :: Current Affairs :: 14 December 2008